Use and Abuse Your Fears

Posted: June 2, 2010 in Uncategorized
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Everyone is stressed out these days. Busy life style in big cities, long working hours, high expectations of employers and clients, trying to look glamorous all the time as well as being  healthy and fit, making a huge effort to  fit a relationship in our hectic lives,…etc. It  seems like it is impossible to avoid the stress.

But what is stress? Where does it come from? When do we get stressed? What makes us  feel  stressed?

All our fears come from the will to love and to be loved.

Most medical  sources describe stress as forces from outside world  affecting  the individual. Not really a satisfactory description in comparison   with hurricane like feelings we have when we are stressed.

Dictionaries are more truthful.They describe stress as worry,burden,anxiety and pressure.Yes,we are worried,we are anxious and we are pressurised when we are stressed.Why?Obviously, we fear to fail.

Imagine you are late for a very important meeting which is a unique  opportunity for you to show your potential  to get promoted. You dressed up , you are in your best shape as usual, your make up is perfect. But somehow you got stuck in traffic and you are going mad in the car, you are extremely stressed. Why? Because you don’t want to miss the opportunity, you want to remain successful and popular. You fear to lose what you have which stresses you. You call your mum or best friend to feel better and  you say “I am so stressed right now .”but you  don’t say that  “I fear that I might lose the best opportunity I have been offered.”

Stress comes from our fears but we are all too proud to say  that “I am fearful”   or even “I am worried.” while we can easily say that “I am stressed.”

What is fear? How does it originate? Is it a good thing or bad thing? Does it motivate  or demotivate us?

The  common thought of 21st century is  that we are all motivated by money. I don’t agree. Why do we let money motivate even manipulate us and make us work like a slave?  Because we  all fear to starve, living with no roof on our head, being left out in our society.

We are all motivated by our fears. Our fears make us successful , hard working, challenging, even good looking, give us good manners,make  us  loyal , a good citizen and a good person, a good friend, a good partner, a good parent,…etc.

It is the fear of imprisonment  and of being condemned  by others which makes us obey the law. It is fear of unemployment  which keeps us working long hours and pretend to like our boss even we hate him. It is the fear of starvation and of first and most important instinct  to survive which wakes us up every morning to run to work.

Why do we make friends, partners and all kind of social relationships? It is fear of loneliness, it is fear of not being loved and not having someone to love.

In fact all our fears originate from the will to love and to be loved. If we are hard working we are loved more,if we are successful  we are loved more,if we earn enough and not trouble others  financially we are loved more,if we are good looking we are loved more,if we are good friend or partner we are loved more.

We can use and abuse our fears for love.We should,but only we should..We human beings are all made of love.First and best motivation of human being is love. We were all born after millions of kisses.

  1. Juliana says:

    Very good one. Never thought about stress in this way.

  2. Sunil says:

    Another nice article. Would just like to add that stress is also a direct result of expectations which can be two-fold.For instance, others might expect us to perform or rather reach a certain level whilst in other circumstances, we may place high hopes and expectations from ourselves.Thus, the ‘fear’ of failing letting ourselves or others down could cause stress.

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