Posts Tagged ‘depression’


 

psychosisMagic Book Writing Project

3:57 Psychosis

3:57! Are you not coming? Come on, jump in! Or we will be going! This is the only 3:57 Train!

Wake up! I woke up! Look around! I looked around! What is the time? 3:57. Get up! I got up! Someone died! Who? You don’t know? No! Then why did you wake up! I don’t know; I just did.

“I am bored and dissatisfied with everything”

Yes, I remember she said that, but I was not there. I did not even know her!

“I am a complete failure as a person I am guilty”

Yes, she said that, too! Oh God!

“I am being punished I would like to kill myself”

Oh no!

“I used to be able to cry but now I am beyond tears

“Yes, but what do you want me to do? She is not here!

“I have lost interest in other people I can’t make decisions”

I wish I was there.

“I can’t eat”

God!

“I can’t sleep”

“I can’t think”

“I cannot overcome my loneliness, my fear, my disgust”

“I am fat”

“I cannot write”

“I cannot love”

“My brother is dying, my lover is dying, I am killing them both”

“I am charging towards my death”

“I am terrified of medication”

“I cannot make love”

“I cannot fuck”

“I cannot be alone”

“I cannot be with others”

“My hips are too big”

Stop it! Stop it! Do not repeat! That was a psychosis! It was a fucking psychosis! Do not repeat it! She could have lived!

Why? Are you scared? No! Then what? Nothing! I knew I was not supposed to go see that scene! I knew! Why, what happened? That’s I don’t know! I have been hearing that train since then! What train! 3:57 Train.

You have just read the first half of the next week’s project as a part of “Magic Book Writing Project”.I dedicated this story to a great author who I had no chance to meet but whose spirit I felt through her work . Please complete it with a sensitive and tender heart.

 


“I love the way you cry, you do it pretty well.”, said the old man.

She looked puzzled, she had never received such a reaction before. She could not call it a compliment,nor was it an insult.

“Oh,God! Luckily I have such an artful make up on!”, she thought to herself and decided to throw a wide smile at him as an answer. Was that going to stop him?

“I wonder what made you decide to sell tears and sorrow to people?”, he repeated.

“That is my art Sir!”, she replied.

“Couldn’t you choose a better one?”

“It is the best apparently, millions of people love it.”, she said and smiled with a pride.

“That does not mean anything.”, replied the old businessman.

Everybody at the table became quiet all of a sudden.  Why was he attacking her?, was the question in everyone’s eyes.

She thought about leaving the table just how any pop star would do, but somehow she wanted to stay and discover what was going on in the old man’s heart.

The woman on fire...

The woman on fire…

“What do you do Sir?”, she asked. Almost every pair of eye opened wide by this line. She observed the tension but tried not to feel it.

“I sell solutions to the world, in fact I create a new world for people, what do you do?”

“You have watched my performance haven’t you? I sing.”

“Do you really?”

“How do you create a new world if the world is the same old world, Sir?. Hahahaha!

“Just like yourself!”

“He must have drunk too much tonight!”, his business partner, sitting on the left side of the old man, whispered to his wife!

“I think you should take him out of here darling.”, his wife replied.

“Would you please excuse us?”, said he and held the old man’s arm.

“We have to go Mr Freeman,  we are already late.”

“Oh, no no!”, Mr Freeman replied. “We will be all right if we stay for a few more minutes.”, he resisted.

“Please let him stay, it is quite entertaining to have him around!”, the lady pop star interrupted.

“Entertainment is your business you little monkey!”, he exploded!  “Stop making people cry! Stop depressing them first,then laughing at them at the back of the stage! Worst of all, stop making money out of their pain!”

“Don’t you do the same Sir! Don’t you make money out of people’s pain?”

“I create solutions to their pain, I create a rainbow when it rains, I don’t sell them tears and call it art!”

“Exactly,your source is also pain! Plus, they need tears, too!”

They can cry when they want to, you don’t need to stir up their hearts, make them cry and pretend you feel the same pain while you are perfectly happy!

“I do not pretend Sir,that is my art!”

“Do you know what, don’t call yourself a singer!”

“Why?”

“Because, you are a liar!”

“No I am not!”

“Oh yes, you are, you are a sadistic liar! How can you be happy by depressing people? And why should they care about how you felt when your lover, quite rightly, left you years ago? And don’t you think you are bit sick if you are still singing songs about that guy?”

“Don’t you think you are a bit sick Sir, shouting at me like that!”

“Oh God! Oh God!” , screamed a young paparazzi. “That is terrible!” , the other one yelled. ” What is wrong Roxy!”, asked the third one enthusiastically!

“What made you so angry Mr Freeman!” , the other one shouted.

People at the table began to leave but it was almost impossible now, over fifty journalists were around the table.

“Hey Roxy! Tell us what happened!”

“Ask Mr Freeman!”, she exclaimed while trying hard to hold her tears…